I love my dog. Remembering it was the 3rd anniversary of Bailey coming into our lives I watched him snoozing in the sun and went to sort out stuff for work this afternoon, thinking, I must blog about the anniversary, as I have the last 2 years. 

When I hear a rustling. And I go back into the garden and he has bitten through a bin bag and pulled out the salmon wrapper and is licking it transparent. He looks at me and I at him and he knows he is in trouble. I say ‘naughty boy’ and he immediately takes himself off to his bed. 

3 years and 2 days ago, if you would have said to me I would write about a dog licking fish wrappers I would have laughed. Heartily. But as I have mentioned countless times, this pup changed my life. 

Me and the boy are currently 300 miles away from Roma. He is with me for a fortnight while I am working. You may or may not know that I have a new job, in Cornwall, by the sea. It’s part time now, but I hope soon it’s full time. So we can all be together again. Living our dream. 

It’s been a bittersweet couple of weeks. I’ve loved having him with me, even if it’s been super stressful because we are both guests in someone’s house. Not helped by returning the first day I left him on his own to find he had eaten an entire box of unopened Jordan’s country crunch cereal. The cardboard remnants of the box he had taken off the counter were strewn across the kitchen and he sat doe-eyed on his bed.

The bitter part is because I want us all together, as a family. But he has alleviated some of the loneliness I’ve felt acclimatising to a new life with no wife and no money, and going back and forth.

Since Cerealgate, as for the past three years, he has been a joy. Such a good boy. A wonderful companion. I still cannot believe the impact he has had on me as a person, as an artist. 

And I can’t believe how happy he makes me. He is not quite the water puppy Roma dreamed of yet, but with every passing visit to the beach he gets more and more adventurous, and when we find more secluded beaches and I am swimming for hours, it will no doubt become second nature. 

It’s been weird living here on my own for the past couple of months, realising how integral to my happiness Bailey, and the way of life he has introduced to me, has become. This past fortnight has been a glimpse of my future, our family future, and I love it, and am excited. He’s my boy. He’s changed everything, and I am so grateful to him.

I look at Bailey, our chaos dog, still, and think, you’re our dog. You’re our boy, part of our family. Wow.

I can’t believe it. I really can’t believe I’ve been a dog owner for two years, and that in that time my whole life and personality and outlook and emotional core has changed so much.

I’m a different person, because of Bailey. Along with Roma, he is my solace, and in the past few months has been my core sanctuary. Our time in the fields, with nature, has been the only thing that has kept me from madness. He has been a Godsend.

It’s been a tough couple of years. He has had some nasty outbursts with other dogs, particularly after being attacked by a Bull Mastiff. We have gone through many different approaches, as he is mostly unsociable, due to the incident with the mastiff and something from prior to his arrival with us, that we will never know about, and would need Cesar Milan to fix.

But he is wonderful. He is loved, by mine and Roma’s families, who dote on him, by our friends, by our Godchildren and by strangers, who constantly stop to admire him. And he laps it up, with mischief.

I’m smiling just thinking about him now, upstairs asleep with the love of my life, as I write this. He brings such joy to my life - he keeps me honest, creative, dedicated and focused. He calms me, raises me, infuriates me.

I am not ready for the day he won’t be with us. I never will be.

I can’t believe it’s been two years. In fact, it was two years on May 21. I forgot it. Bad Daddy. But he is just so much a part of the fabric of our lives, it’s like he has been here forever, and yet it’s only two years. I am a different person now. I’m happier now. I live more now. There are things I need to change about myself, and I’m in the process of doing that, but my life is full of love. And a lot of it comes from my biglittle pup.

Happy Birthday Mr. B. 

I Love You.

Eureka! I’ve worked it out! Thank you Beginners for revealing the secret formula!

It be:

Twee + Quirky x Plaintive Piano + [Dog] / (Dys)functional families - melancholy + philosophy x voiceover - sad artists / LANY + still photographs + 8mm x kooky artist friends + feelings - art

= Indie Film

I liked Plummer, and Visnijc, but otherwise it all felt so forced real and manipulated and ultimately false. Nothing like Mills’ previous Thumbsucker which I loved. So achingly earnest and wannabe hip. Left me utterly, utterly cold. Hence my cynical formula.

A year ago today my world changed. I never wanted a dog my whole life. It was a love concession for a wife who has wanted one since dot. 

I figured life would change in terms of responsibility, getting up, routines, sacrifices and was fine with that. I had no idea how much my world would change though and change it has. 

For the better. Oh so better.

Since we rescued our stray Chaos Dog, I’ve learned so much about myself, found a peace and humility I never dreamed of and seen my future in technicolour and full of tranquil joy.

(Disclaimer: Next bit is coated in saccharine).

I’d forgotten how beautiful our country is, how beautiful country is. I never realised how much my soul craves and appreciates a silence punctuated by birdsong and wind. I know no ill mood will last long because nature awaits and in every frame is this tongue out potterer who fills my heart with so much joy.

I’m surprised how much I’ve enjoyed this year, becoming a dog owner, training him, bonding with him, learning about him. I’m also surprised how quickly it all fell into a beautiful rhythm.

I’ve written a short film, 2 feature scripts, 2 PhD essays and he has so much to do with that, not only the wonderful writing pattern he has provided me with, but also the peace, the calm, the positivity, the joy.

I’m a different person. I thank my wife for making this happen, and I thank Bailey, a year on from getting him, for making me see (as Justin has always attested) that I do want the ‘classic’ writer life. Wife, Dog, Sea/Country. Simplicity bound up in furry beauty with a smiley face.

I wish Tom Hanks went back to being silly, for a while, just once maybe. Anyway

Remember in my thoughts on Sherlock Holmes where I said I wasn’t going soft. Well maybe I am. Watching this for the first time in years I was expecting a fun, Saturday night hokum fest. But, unlike the first time I saw it, now I’m a dog owner. Watching this film as a dog owner was a completely different experience for me. 

First time, I watched it not really caring about the dog, this time, it was all I could see. I really am going soft.

Right, the film.

It’s fun. It’s harmless and predictable. Hanks is superb. Funny, charming and at the climax, with Hooch dying from a gunshot, he is incredibly moving. He’s such a fine actor and star.

In the opening credits I spotted that the film had 5 writers and 4 editors. None of them could turn this into a classic, but it is surprisingly coherent. 

Unlike my short review here, which babbles at best.